It is perfectly normal to feel angry from time to time, but in some cases it can be a problem.
Anger is probably the most poorly handled emotion in our society. Few of us can appropriately express anger to the right person, at the right time, in a measured way.
Learn how to recognise your anger as soon as it starts to arise. Prepare for situations that might make you angry and avoid them where possible.
When you notice you are becoming angry, say to the other person that you need a few minutes to think.
If necessary, leave the room and have a walk while you think things through.
Sit down, sit back in your chair and take a few deep breaths while you think to yourself:
"I am going to distance myself emotionally and regain control; get hold of my rational self."
Have a shared buzzword that indicates to you, and the people you know, that you are with that you are feeling angry and need some time to collect your thoughts. The funnier the better.
Generate an alternative form of physical reaction by channelling your energy into humour. It is very difficult to feel angry if you're doing a cartwheel or pulling a silly face.
Tear a newspaper into shreds, punch pillows, cry, go for a run or a walk, go to the gym, write a letter without sending it.
Use 'I' statements. A really useful formula is "I feel x when you do y", eg "I feel you don't care when you don't return my calls."
Reflect back what you understand the other person to have said, eg "So what you're saying is, when I don't call you straight back you think I don't care."
Ask the other person what they understand by what you say.
Call 999 for emergency services - or for security services on campus call 01904 32 3333 or use the Safezone app.
Practising mindfulness can help you recognise and untangle your emotions.
Try our mindfulness videos to help you manage difficult emotions in your daily life.
Think about anger as a series of steps:
The advice on this page is not designed to avoid anger but to enable you to think more clearly about what is making you angry.
'Stewing' in your angry feelings, or 'swallowing' them in order to pretend that it does not matter, can lead to the development of depression and feelings of hopelessness, or 'temper explosions', which in extreme cases can be linked to violent outbursts.
In either of these cycles it becomes more and more difficult to maintain a balanced and peaceful lifestyle.
Workshops and groups
If you're struggling with anger issues you might find it helpful to attend one of the following workshops:
See our Workshops and groups page for other workshops that may help with your wellbeing.