Loneliness

Loneliness is the unpleasant feeling we have when there is a mismatch between the social relationships we want, and the ones that we have. Mental health charity Mind says loneliness is about ‘not feeling part of the world’. 

Loneliness makes you feel emotionally isolated – like you’re not connected to people, or you don’t belong. There is a difference between being alone, and feeling lonely. Solitude – being alone – is different to loneliness. Lots of people live alone, but do not feel lonely because they have social relationships and connections that they want and need.

It's important to remember that you're not the only one who feels lonely. One in five people in the UK say they experience feelings of loneliness, and during the coronavirus pandemic, many more of us felt anxious and isolated. 

How can I help myself?

The first thing to keep in mind is that you are certainly not the only one feeling lonely.

The actual feeling of loneliness is a 'flag' that there is something you need, so take notice of the feeling.

  • Don't hide away or avoid people
  • Put yourself in situations where you can become involved in conversations and activities
  • Take the initiative and talk to other people rather than waiting for them to talk to you
  • Say 'hello' or maybe just smile, it will usually be returned
  • Be positive when you talk with people
  • Get involved in societies or voluntary work
  • Balance your time so sometimes you are with people and sometimes you are alone
  • Work out if you prefer to talk in groups or have one-to-one conversations or a mixture of the two
  • Connect with colleagues on Slack channels and at other social opportunities for staff

Keep trying even if your first attempts are not very successful - you may be expecting too much of yourself and others.

Resources